Who Really Has the Truth? Christianity, Scripture, and LGBTQ People
One of the things I get asked all the time is why I’m not “telling people the truth.”
I get comments, DMs, and emails from people who are very passionate about what they believe the Bible says. A lot of them are convinced they have the truth, and they want to let me know that I’m misleading people by saying you can be both gay and Christian.
So I started asking myself: what do people even mean when they say “the truth”?
Are they talking about the Bible? If so, which translation? Which denomination? Which interpretation? Because if there’s one thing Christianity makes clear, it’s that people do not all agree on what scripture means.
And that matters.
Let’s Start With the Basics
When I say you can be both gay and Christian, I mean that literally.
Being gay is an orientation, just like being straight is an orientation. An orientation is not an action. It’s not automatically a behavior. It’s simply part of who someone is.
So yes, if someone is gay and also follows Christ, then that person is both gay and Christian. That’s just a fact.
Now, I know a lot of people want to immediately jump from that to arguing about whether being in a same-sex relationship is sinful, or whether certain verses condemn it, or whether someone is going to hell. I know that’s where their minds go. But before we even get there, we need to be honest about something simple: being gay itself is not an action.
And that distinction matters.
LGBTQ People Already Know the Bible Arguments
A lot of Christians come into LGBTQ spaces acting like they’re the first person to ever bring up the Bible.
They’ll show up in the comments, in DMs, under crying videos, under vulnerable posts, under songs, and say things like:
“You’re going to hell”
“You need to repent”
“The Bible is clear”
“You’re deceiving people”
But here’s the thing: we’ve heard all of it before.
LGBTQ Christians know the arguments. We know the verses people use. We know the six clobber verses. We’ve heard the sermons. We’ve read the comments. We’ve had the fear. We’ve wrestled with the shame. We’ve stayed up at night praying about it.
So when someone shows up acting like they’re bringing brand new information, it’s honestly a little ridiculous. Most of us have already done the research. Most of us have already agonized over this far more than the random stranger leaving the comment ever has.
Christianity Has Never Agreed on Everything
One of the biggest reasons I push back on the idea that one group has the absolute final truth is because Christianity itself is full of disagreement.
There are thousands of Christian denominations in the world. People disagree on:
communion
salvation
predestination
free will
divorce
women in leadership
baptism
spiritual gifts
Mary
saints
head coverings
once saved always saved
whether Catholics are “real Christians”
whether certain churches are even biblical
That alone should tell us something.
If Christians can’t even agree on what scripture means across all these issues, why do so many people suddenly act like the LGBTQ issue is the one place where interpretation becomes perfectly simple?
It’s not.
A Simple Example: Head Coverings
Take 1 Corinthians 11, where Paul talks about women covering their heads.
If people want to argue that every verse in the Bible should be taken literally at face value, then why don’t most modern Christians apply that passage literally? Why aren’t women in evangelical churches expected to cover their heads? Why are women allowed to have short hair? Why do we not treat that as a salvation issue?
At some point, Christians decided to use context.
At some point, Christians decided culture mattered.
At some point, Christians decided that passage wasn’t universally binding in the same way.
And that’s exactly my point.
For so many other issues, Christians are willing to slow down, ask questions, consider context, and say, “Maybe this doesn’t apply the way people once thought it did.”
But when it comes to gay people, suddenly all nuance disappears.
Another Example: Divorce
The same thing happens with divorce.
Jesus said strong things about divorce. If we were going to be completely rigid and legalistic, we could use those verses to condemn a huge number of Christians. And yet most believers understand that divorce is more complicated than that. They understand abuse exists. They understand coercion exists. They understand people can leave harmful marriages and later build healthier lives.
In other words, they allow for compassion.
They allow for context.
They allow for real life.
So my question is: why is that grace extended to straight Christians in complicated situations, but not to LGBTQ people?
Why is there room for nuance everywhere else, but not here?
Why This Topic Isn’t Black and White
This is exactly why I keep saying this topic is not as black and white as people make it out to be.
People love to reduce it to:
either you’re gay or you’re Christian
either you leave your “lifestyle” or go to hell
either you obey the Bible or reject God
But real life is more complicated than that, and honestly, Christianity already knows that.
Modern Christians already make interpretive decisions all the time. We already do this with head coverings, divorce, dietary laws, mixed fabrics, women in church, and plenty of other issues. We look at history. We look at translation. We look at culture. We look at genre. We ask what was going on at the time.
That’s not “watering down scripture.” That’s called interpretation. Christians do it constantly.
The Problem With Selective Literalism
A lot of what frustrates me is the selective literalism.
Some people say, “You’re just cherry-picking verses to fit your lifestyle.”
But Christians do that all the time without admitting it.
No one is out here policing polyester blends from Leviticus.
Most Christians eat shrimp.
Most Christians don’t treat head coverings as mandatory.
Most Christians don’t excommunicate every divorced and remarried person.
Most Christians don’t apply every passage with the same literal, rigid standard.
So the real issue is not whether interpretation happens. It clearly does.
The real issue is who gets grace and who doesn’t.
And historically, LGBTQ people have not gotten the same grace.
Historical Context Matters
Another reason this conversation matters is because the world of the Bible did not have the same framework we do today for sexual orientation or loving same-sex relationships.
That doesn’t mean every question is instantly settled. But it does mean we should be careful before acting like ancient texts were clearly addressing modern, loving, monogamous gay relationships in the way people claim.
A lot of the passages used against LGBTQ people have long been debated by scholars and readers because of the cultural context around power, abuse, exploitation, incest, and domination. There are real translation questions there, real historical questions there, and real reasons people disagree.
So again, we come back to the same point: this is not simple, and pretending it is doesn’t make it true.
Why Gay People Don’t Get the Same Mercy
This is really the heart of it for me.
Straight Christians are allowed to be complicated.
Divorced Christians are allowed to be complicated.
People who struggle with all kinds of things are allowed to be complicated.
But gay people are often treated like they must fit into one flat, suspicious stereotype.
People assume they know our whole lives.
They assume they know our relationships.
They assume they know our morals.
They assume they know our hearts.
But LGBTQ people are not all the same, just like straight people aren’t all the same.
Some LGBTQ Christians are celibate.
Some are in committed monogamous relationships.
Some are still figuring things out.
Some are deeply conservative.
Some are progressive.
Some are wounded.
Some are thriving.
We are not one stereotype. We are people.
Comparing Gay People to Addiction Makes No Sense
Another argument I hear a lot is people comparing being gay to alcoholism or drug addiction.
And honestly, I’m tired of hearing it.
Addiction is destructive. It harms bodies, minds, families, and lives. It can be deadly. That’s not the same thing as two people loving each other in a committed, caring relationship.
Those are not equal comparisons.
And yes, we should have compassion for people struggling with addiction too. But comparing a loving same-sex relationship to something destructive and deadly just doesn’t make sense. It’s not thoughtful, it’s not compassionate, and it’s usually a sign that someone hasn’t really examined what they’re saying.
Scapegoating LGBTQ People Is Easy
I think one reason this issue gets so much attention in the church is because it’s easy for straight Christians to focus on a “sin” they personally don’t struggle with.
It becomes a scapegoat.
It’s much easier to point at gay people and say, “They’re the problem,” than it is to deal with greed, abuse, hypocrisy, misogyny, racism, infidelity, pride, power abuse, or all the other things the church has been drowning in for years.
If we’re going to talk about what’s harming the church, there are plenty of things to talk about long before we get to loving gay couples.
The Bigger Truth Christians Can Actually Agree On
At the end of the day, Christians disagree on a lot.
They disagree on doctrine.
They disagree on translation.
They disagree on tradition.
They disagree on what verses apply how.
They disagree on what salvation looks like.
They disagree on what churches are right.
So if all of that is true, then maybe we should stop acting like we’ve got total certainty on this one issue while ignoring how much disagreement exists everywhere else.
Because there is one truth Christians really should be able to agree on:
love matters.
Jesus called us to love our neighbor.
Scripture calls us to mercy.
Scripture calls us to humility.
Scripture calls us to care for people, not crush them.
And if our theology has no love in it, then what are we even doing?
If You Have Truth But No Love, What’s the Point?
That’s why the verse from this episode matters so much:
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:1
That verse hits hard because it reminds us that you can be loud, confident, religious, and convinced you’re right — and still completely miss the heart of God.
You can win arguments and still fail at love.
You can quote scripture and still wound people.
You can claim truth and still be spiritually empty.
So when people ask me why I’m not “telling the truth,” my answer is this:
I am telling the truth as I understand it — and I’m trying to do it with love, compassion, and humility.
Because none of us sees perfectly.
None of us has total understanding.
But all of us know what it feels like to need grace.
Final Thoughts
Here’s where I land:
No, I don’t believe being gay excludes someone from the kingdom of God.
No, I don’t believe LGBTQ people should be treated like outcasts.
No, I don’t believe this issue is as black and white as people claim.
And no, I don’t think Christians get to weaponize scripture against gay people while giving everyone else nuance and mercy.
I think we need more honesty.
More context.
More humility.
More compassion.
More emotional intelligence.
And a whole lot more love.
If we’re going to be serious about following Jesus, then let’s stop using the Bible as a weapon and start using it the way Christ did — to bring people closer to love, mercy, healing, and truth.
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